Really? Are you kidding me??

Have you ever felt like a non-factor? Like anything and everything you say or have said, REALLY doesn't seem to matter to anyone. Especially after everyone comes to you for help, advice or some sort of direction, after all of your effort, no one really seems to care? Have you ever asked someone to do something (that you consider important) and you assumed it would be done, only to find out, oh...let's say 5 hours later, that it wasn't done.

On another note...why do some people feel that I should continue to be there for them, when I'm not even sure that they are telling me the truth? I don't get it. Does Cheryl do any of the above to anyone she encounters? Ms. Chae doesn't even do that and she's oh...how shall I say it...well, no need to EVERYONE knows how she is. She DOESN'T tolerate that very well, to say the least! I GUARANTEE if I did ANY of the above to anyone else I wouldn't be liked very much! I'd DEFINITELY have less friends and less family members speaking to me.

All I have to say is this: When I FINALLY do get a chance to get away from all this drama and nonsensical nonsense that goes on around me, I plan on re-prioritizing my life. I plan on contacting NO ONE, so if things fall apart....so be it. I'm TIRED of being the 'glue' that holds everyone and everything together. This adhesive is WORN OUT!! People need to get it together. Enough said.....for now.

American Tradition....really???

Okay, now I'm questioning why I get up early during the week to get my three children ready for school and I'm able to get myself ready for school, which I have everyday except Fridays....and every Friday I STILL have to get up early to get the children off to school and I can't sleep in???

I don't know about any of you but I'm TIRED of American tradition. Why is the wife responsible for everyone under the sun? Who is responsible for her? Why isn't there someone to CONSTANTLY remind me to take out my clothes for the next day, brush my teeth, clean my room? Forget remind me, why not just do it for me? Aren't we mothers ENTITLED to some things too? Oh, that's right, we gave birth and are naturally nurturing and blah, blah, blah.

I'm so very tired of hearing of hearing what is traditionally expected of a woman/mother. Okay, this is the venting paragraph, so if you'd rather not hear it, then skip to the next paragraph. Why is it expected that I'm going to get the kids up for school everyday? Why do I have to keep track of everyone's before/after school programs? Why do I have to make most of the doctors appointments around here? Funny, how I notice everyone else's dirty clothes and can wash them before I start seeing people w/the same 4 day old shirt on, and not one person here can even OFFER to do mine. Why do people around here act as if I am responsible for cleaning everyone's room b/c they are too lazy to do it? MY room doesn't even stay clean, even though I try to make a concerted effort to keep it that way....I'm so tired of dividing household chores between the children, ONLY to have them get so lazy that other adults in this house see that they don't get done, get tired of it, then either CLEAN IT FOR the children and THEN come to me w/it, OR just come to me with...CHERYL, YOU NEED TO blah, blah, blah or CHERYL, why is this blah, blah, blah. Or, I'll get attitudes from people if I even MENTION the fact that something needs to be cleaned or picked up or moved and I remind them that I'm NOT doing it for them. Then DAYS LATER, when it's not done (b/c I REFUSE TO) either another adult will do it and come to me w/what they did b/c someone couldn't or I get...I KNOW, CHERYL or I ALREADY KNOW, Ma when I remind them ONCE AGAIN!

How is it that I was raised to do whatever was w/in my power to take care of my responsibilities? There was no laziness allowed. No one cleaned my room for me. No one did my clothes. No one helped me take care of any of my animals. No one, back in tha days or even now say...I'll get that for you Cheryl/Ma, or I'll put that away or I'll clean that up, don't worry about it, you do enough around here. Nope, probably never hear that and if I do, it's only b/c someone read this, so don't bother b/c I won't believe you. Just keepin' it real! I just find it amazing what so many people depend on me for. What happened to being independent? What happened to teaching responsibility? What happened to equally raising children? What happened to sharing responsibilities? Where did all this entitlement come from that these children have today? (Well, think they have, anyway)

I'm tired of the typical American tradition that says the mother is the one who pretty much does it all. This is the way I see it. It takes two people to have children, so TWO people should equally share in raising them, and that includes getting up w/them in the morning, whether or not one or both parents have to be up at that time or not! Whatever happened to--It takes a village to raise a child???? That implies help to me...oh is that why that phrase isn't used anymore? (Everyone is out for self?) Like I said, it's unfair for so much responsibility to be placed on women. Now, hold on...If you're a woman who has pushed her children's father (relatives) away for your own selfish reasons (you women ARE out there, 'cause I know at least 3 of you!), then NONE of this counts for you. You dug your own holes and it's too late to get out. Don't look for me to hand you the rope to climb out, ROFL!!!

So, I'm sure you're asking yourself by now...what happened to her to put her in this mood? Or, you might be asking...is she moving out of the country now? The answer to both questions is nothing/no. This blog is a place for Ms. Chae to release feelings and that is exactly what I just did. I'm sure people can relate but just don't quite know how to say it, or just aren't the type of people who can handle confrontation, so then just read it here and shake your head in silence if you agree.

Okay, I feel better now. It's 8:59am.....last child is on the bus.....now what?

Who is Ms. Chae REALLY?

This is just a quick entry to introduce everyone to Ms. Chae. NO, I don't have a personality disorder, I just like to think that she is my sarcastic, angry side. She becomes the 'character' I hide behind when I'm in a mood and need to release my feelings.

Ms. Chae says what's on her mind, when it's appropriate. She, like I, ALWAYS keep it real. Why lie about things, why hide things, why sugar-coat the truth? Not my style or hers. If that's what someone wants from me, I'll send them straight to Dunkin' Donuts, where they can get all the sugar-coating they want. Ms. Chae doesn't have time for games, nonsense or drama of any kind. I allow her to take over when I really can't be bothered with ignorance or immaturity.

One of my good friends, Eddy, gave me the nickname, Chae. I become 'Chae' when I have to sing or speak in front of a group of people (whether I know them or not) I was extremely shy as a child and that shyness remains with me, even though people doubt that b/c they don't see it. The reason no one sees that is because I hide behind my character, who tends to be strong when I can't or when the shyness starts to creep up on me. My shyness has prevented me from pursuing a singing career, approaching influential people and even from properly promoting my jewelry. I recently decided that, that HAD to stop. So, for now, Ms. Chae does what I can't bring myself to do at times, although one would never know that w/out my having told you.

Now, DON'T take that to mean that I am weak in anyway! Weak, no, shy, yes or maybe just quiet to begin with. But just because I'm quiet, that doesn't ever mean that I won't speak up. I probably just won't be as sarcastic as Ms. Chae would. Ms. Chae must be a long lost relative of Ms. Karma b/c I feel sorry for people who cross either one.....Hey, I'm just sayin'.....

You know you have another side to you too. We all do in some form or fashion, I think we just have to tap into it. I HAD to find an outlet for my negative emotions. I think we all should. Perhaps not in the form of an alter ego, some people develop hobbies. Whatever works for you. Just don't get extreme! You know how Tyler Perry has Madea? Well, Cheryl has Ms. Chae....so watch out!

Go With Your Gut!!

Did you ever have a feeling about something and were right on the money about it? Happened to me recently. I won't drop instances or names b/c this is MY blog and it's about ME not anyone else, haha! This is about my feelings and I'm SURE SOMEONE can relate to this!

So, I got this funny feeling and just knew something wasn't correct. Things just weren't falling into place like they had in the weeks prior. I then began to think that I should change a part of my personality, perhaps not be so willing to do things for others as quickly as I have in the past. I think that I'm a pretty open, easy going person. I don't judge anyone b/c I didn't put anyone on this Earth, no one is perfect and everyone is human. I'm a good listener, always try to be there for others before myself (NOT always a good thing I've learned). I don't spread rumors or gossip and I keep personal business to myself (whether it's my business or someone else's), and I don't take much personally (as in...if we aren't close, then you can't hurt me) Sometimes that isn't good though, because people tend to take advantage of that whether they realize it or not. Now, once that happens I start to wonder what went wrong. What did I do? What could I have done better or not at all?

Then, of course, I come to my senses, and realize that I did everything I was capable of to the best of my ability and still remained true to myself. People are unhappy for a myriad of reasons. Ms. Chae (who you'll meet later, I'm sure) is DYING to say something, but that part of me (lol no, I don't have any personality disorders, haha) can be very sarcastic and says whatever is on her mind. Let's just say, I chalk this up to life experience. I've learned my lesson. Remember, there's a lesson in every life experience. Don't get upset or angry, or even take it personally. Look for the lesson, learn from it and move on!

Well, I guess this is my first entry in my blog. Usually I have much to say or a lot on my mind and need to put it down on paper, but for some reason, nothing comes to mind. Nothing wise, nothing funny, not even anything random. I guess that just means it's a good day huh?

Then I guess I'll leave it at that and go on with my day. Have a good one and thanks for playing! See ya next time! Maybe I'll introduce you all to Ms. Chae, haha....